Daily Funny Jokes

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He Said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!”

Laughter and Applause!!!
A week later, a top manager trained by the Motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke At home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to His wife who was preparing dinner, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my Wife!”

The wife went; “ahhhh!” with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second Half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out “…and I can’t remember who she was!”

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: Don’t Copy if you can’t PASTE

Source: Email forward

Jaspinder meets a her school friend after 20 years and tells her how her life has been great and that she has 10 children.

‘Wow!’ says her friend. ‘What are their names?’

‘Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep,Mandeep, Mandeep and Mandeep,’ she answers, smiling proudly.

Her friend looks at her dubiously. ‘Really?’ she says. ‘So what if you want them to come in from playing outside?’

‘That’s easy, I just shout Mandeep and they all come running,’ answers Jaspinder.

Her friend is not convinced. ‘And what if you want them to come to the table for dinner?’ she asks. ‘Again,’ she says, ‘I just shout ‘Mandeep, dinner’s ready!”

‘But wait a minute,’ says her friend. ‘What if you just want one of them to do something?’

‘That is slightly more difficult,’ says the woman, nodding. ‘Then I have to use their last names.’

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all builders working on a bridge.

The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, “If I get one more tuna sandwich, I’m going to jump off this bridge.” The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, “If I get one more ham sandwich, I’m going to jump off this bridge.” The Irishman then says, “If I get one more egg sandwich, I’m going to jump off this bridge.”

The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman’s wife says, “If only I’d known he didn’t like tuna.” The Scotsman’s wife says, “If only I’d known he didn’t like ham.”

The Irishman’s wife says, “I don’t understand it. He made his own sandwiches.”